what's up? my penis.

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A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do.

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How do you name a beast who eat rocks and fly. rock-eater flying beast

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette have a contest to see who can get the most likes on their profile pictures. They are all attention-whores.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Justin. Hello Justin, please come in.

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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Writing is hard Poems are strong I am muslim And this is a bomb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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