One sunny Tuesday morning, Tom and his friends were outside playing at the park. Then, suddenly, a violent storm was rapidly approaching. It was recommended that everyone should seek shelter immediately.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A deer. The fact that it has no eyes doesn't change the species.

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Why was the 15 year old boy always alone in his bedroom making strange noises? Because he was struggling to fight back the tears following his single mother's recent suicide, driven by her despair over the reality that her son was an out of control drug addict, just like his no-good father who ran out on them.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A blind fish.

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Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

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Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

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knock knock whos there? jew jew who ? jew son o a b**** ? (aimed at ight wing racist jews)

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Mr. Krabs lives in bikini bottom (pinch pinch)

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Like does not mean said. You can blame Justin Bieber for that one, cuz he was like "Baby Baby Baby" and I was like "no"

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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A van drives into a car.

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

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why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

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Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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