Why did the 16 year old black kid drop out of high school? He started a successful small business selling mixtapes.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You attend a school atop a hill in the middle of the town. A river flows east of the hill, under the bridge built for the highway that runs two miles behind the school. You mother leaves for work at 6:00 a.m., and your brother leaves at 9:00 a.m. Schools starts at 7:30 a.m., and you have to pick up a sandwich on the way, for lunch. Also, you forgot to do an assignment that's due today, and it'll take you at least thirty minutes to complete it. How do you get to school on time? You walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I have an excuse why one leg and one arm ar shorter than the ather two. I was born sideways and pulled out by an arm and a leg, trust me im not stupid or gay... ASSSSSSSSSSSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!..........................That was my turrets kickin in and i have dislexia if i didnt spell turrets right

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Who did the dinosuar, that's pretty fricken awesome!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Can anyone Lenin money?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the blond say to his mother?? Nothing. He is deaf and has to use sign language.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A muslim walks into a gun shop

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

dark humor is like food... not everyone gets it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops