What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

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What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

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Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the chicken crose the rode? Because there was a 10 foot scorpion chaseing it

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I can't believe they been together for 16 years!! Who? Deez Nutz!

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sdjhkferiughefljbdfnjkbhdfghlwu24537? 928ndfnfwdjfhoinbv;nop[

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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So a man walks into a bar and wonders why he walked into the building instead of simply just walking through the door. The man then realized that the building was if fact not a local bar, but instead a bowling alley. He was hallucinogenic and was in serious danger as he approached the candy man in the alley.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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What is hitlers favorite planet: jewpiter

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a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops