What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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Uhh, yeah, some of it, I mean people never looked me in the eyes on the buss really, I dunno,if you think I am pretty maybe it is just your opinion or something, but thanks, you are hones and its nice. Never been out drinking, I am you know, kinda nerdy, I just prefer hanging out with friends at home.

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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the firefighter says to the other firefighter: hey firefighter, are we going to fight a fire?

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Two attractive women were getting ready to visit the gym. On the way there, they stopped at a local sports store to purchase some new shorts, and they got it at a good discount price

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He had no conscience and therefore was not able to backup the very reason that he crossed the road.

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.Ttwo guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.

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I walk up in the morning feeling like pdidy who's pdidy grab my glasses out the door I have no glasses girl going to hit the city how do I hit the city ugh this confersasion is over song hmmff

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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if got a joke if fogot it

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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