What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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If dogs hate cats and cats hate mice, than what do mice hate? Themselves.

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rent a cops

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What is yellow and smells like a flower? A yellow flower :)

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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Girls soccer

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Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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Roses are red, Violets are red, My house is red, I am on fire

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Why did the girl scream in terror? Because her parents are being murdered.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. They are baked until ready and then enjoyed be the person who made them.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Q: What did Peter say after a long day of work when he got home? A: Nothing, in fact he has job, home, family, or anyone to help him. His leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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What do you call a man will dementia who just killed his cousins, wife, children, and teacher. His name. He's still a man until he's put in a mental institution.

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What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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