Knock Knock Whose there? The pizza you ordered That's weird, the Pizza I ordered shouldn't be able to talk

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what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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"Would you like to see our stool samples?" asked the salesman. 10 minutes later, I left with 3 new bar stools.

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where do you find a dog with no legs? Korea. It's customary for the guests to get the drumsticks.

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Why did Jonny commit suicide? Airplanes dont have feet.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? one, hes an electrician

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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Why did john have to have back surgery He needed his back "screwed" up

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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