how many times did lucy's mom drop her baby on its head? none, her mom died giving birth.....

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Why is the sky blue? Because it isn't red.

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whats the difference between the same pair of shoes? one shoe is for the left an one if for the right

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two men write a poem one says quack the other says woof what is the middle of the number witch is amazing because who ever is reading this you are beautiful and have chucken food ion your cheek bone connected to the knee cap indeed i shall write on to you guys saying how lovley it is TO MAKE FIRENDS WITH CHICKENS

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What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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What happened when Chuck Norris jumped into the pool? He then got water on him, and later had to dry off.

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Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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a dumb blond walks into a hair salon and gets her hair died brown... she is now a dumb brunette

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How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

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Cancer.

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Dislike this joke for a cookie However if you like this joke you dont get a cookie

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

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Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why did the little boy fall down the tree? He didn't. He jumped.

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knock knock? come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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