My friend was driving me home from a party, and was quite drunk. I was relieved that we did not get into a car crash.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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That joke was so funny that I fell off my dinosaur. Then afterwards had to be put in a rehabilitation center because I am schizophrenic and dinosaurs are extinct.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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what"s short , has a tail , and is amazing ? maddy cartwright i lied about the tail!

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Your Mum is soo fat.

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Q. Why did the chick go to KFC? A. To visit his mother

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Q. What does the pencil and the basketball have in common? A. They both are made from wood, except for the basketball.

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so...um, yeah

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Cripples are lame.

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*see an orphan* Knock knock Whos there Not you parents ...

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

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What green and has wheels? grass I lied about the wheels

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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Your mom.

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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