Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Any number if compressed sufficiently. At neutron star density all babies in the world would fit.

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Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

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Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

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what has wheels and runs on gas? a car with feet

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What did one umbrella say to the other umbrella? Nothing, umbrellas cannot instigate a conversation, because they cannot talk.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the blind man say to the fish store owner? I would, 1 fish please.

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A Nazi walks into a bar. No one really knows he's a Nazi and he doesn't talk about it that much in public, so he chats to some people then leaves after a few beers...

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Ayy mon, come smoke dis weed wit ma

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What do you call a donkey on Christmas? a donkey.

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If you peel my skin off, I won't cry, but you will. What am I? A human being with a high pain threshold.

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A mexican man killed a black man yesterday. It had nothing to do with his race, he just had a very rough childhood and wasn't taught moral values.

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Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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Albert your flies undone.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A baby.

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If you go to America, you won't see any fat black people. They're all dead and in prison.

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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why did the the frog cross the road? because he was on the chickens back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops