What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

what did the tree say when it fell down? Nothing it is humanly impossible for a tree to talk. Especially after it fell down. I mean that would hurt.

That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

Adam is gay tom is here that's nice

Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

Why did the girl start crying? Her pet sunflower had just died.

Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

Can a rabbit jump higher than a tree? No. Trees don't jump

A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

Q: Why was the cook put in jail. A: He has killed 2 people and robbed several stores

When life throws you lemons, duck.

What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

Why did the Zombie kill and eat a man? Because it was hungry.

Guy A walks into a bar and sits down beside guy B, they quickly spark up a quick conversation about golf, Guy B says "i hit the ball so hard, it soared 200 yards", Guy A quickly responds by saying "I hit your mom so hard!" Guy B responds "the jokes on you, my mom has herpes"

Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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