Yo momma so stupid she tried drowning a gold fish. She got accused for animal cruelty.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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what's white and sticky semen

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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"Have you guys ever seen Derrek Ashmores sisters? They are DTF if you know what I mean" - Jesse Ziegenbein

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Roses are brown Violets are brown I should probably water My garden soon.

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Q: What do you call a dad running down a hill? A: A mom running down a hill, I lied about the dad.

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Which came first, the chicken , the egg, the chick, the dinosaur, or the fried chicken nuggets?

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Once there was a ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

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Q: What does the fox say? A: Nothing. Foxes cannot talk.

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why did the boy eat his lunch money? it was his lunch!

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If life's a box of chocolates, I'm the dominant male.

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How do you treat people that cannot say no in just two seconds? (redux and spellchecked) Treatment: Hi...: *locks door* NOW SAY NO TO ME! SAY IT MUAHAHAHA! People: NO PLEASE I CANT! NOOOOOO! *door unlocks* Problem solved, NEXT!

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He didn't give in to peer pressure.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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A white man walks into a bar. He stabs 4 people and 1 escapes with extremem blood hemorages. his fanily later finds him bleeding on their family car. They take him to the hospital where he is put on life support. Later that night they are told there is nothing the doctors can do and the man slips away in his sleep. Who is to blame? The black guy in prison.

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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