roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

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Call jets pizza at 8637090999 and say porr cisero is still stuck and shit will go down

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Why was the man sad? His intestines were imploding and his head was shot off seventeen seconds ago.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daisies are yellow Trust me, I'm a florist.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk! Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

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What does a black car thief do with a stolen car? Drive it

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

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69

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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