What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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What did the Asian say to the Mexican working at the friutstand? Hi, I'm Asian!

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Three old ladies were sitting on a bench. A man walks up and flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady had a stroke. The third old lady called 911 out of concern for her two friends.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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Alright alright Tifa, you look totally different from your drawn identical twin. And yeah I could have been a bit more subtle, don't you worry, I have a special knack for SPAMMING COMMENTS INTO THE ABYSS! I mean sheesh you where pretty open about it earlier, and you said you did not give a damn about what random people thought... Moral: But yeah, I can do better than that, I just do not want to, no seriously, if you are going to go feeling ashamed, then I have failed you.

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What's funny about Antijokes.com? Everything

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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So your a murder, and you show everyone your knife. what do you do, easy just chat with them.

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what does rain do? think of how happy its life was!

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Where did the taxi driver put his suitcase down? celery

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300 terrorists have a contest, they all jump off a tower and die. Who wins? Society.

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A young black girl walks in to a bar. Because she was not of the legal age to consume alcoholic beverages she was asked to leave in a peaceful manner.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refridgerator

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sky's sty

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what's the difference between a bearded man and bearded lady the bearded man has a penis

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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What's the difference between a black guy and an asian. They come from different race groups.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken

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Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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Keanu Reaves

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knock knock whos there steve i dont know you go away

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side of the road because apparently their was something on the other side that appealed to the chicken. It was probably your mom.

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Why can't a dinosaur clap its hands? Dinosaurs are extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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