Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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Hey! Where is my tracker?

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

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how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q: What's the difference between a grasshopper and pencil? A: Lots

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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* Why is this dog barking? * Because he's a dog, if he were a cat it would meow.

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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I baked tonight. What did you bake? Brownies. What kind of brownies? Chocolate.

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A Russian Irish and American beat up on a Canadian. the only thing wrong with that is i forgot the , in between the races. but on the good side the Canadian was Justin Bieber

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What's the difference between meat and fish? You can't beat your fish.

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what did Stephen Hawking say to the prositute? nothing, because he has a disability which renders him unable to speak

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Neil Lewis

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What does it mean when you see a bunch of blacks running in one direction? That you need to be more specific.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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