What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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What did the Blind man say to the deaf man? Nothing, he doesn't know sign language

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I got into an argument with my friend the other day. He contested that the onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I beat his wife to death with a coconut,

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Refridgerator.

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Roses are red, Violets are brown, F*** who's had a shit in my garden.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11. And you said you'd never forget.

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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why couldnt the guy move his legs cuz he was paralyzed

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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Why did the little boy lose his fingers? He was left unattended with a chain saw.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

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I asked a Jewish girl for her number, so she rolled up her sleve

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There must have been something that peaked her interest.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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What do you call a prostitute with morals? Ironic.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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How many Babies can be drowned in a toliet at once? idk the bathtub is much more convienient

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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