What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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I LIKE TRAINS

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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roses are black violets are black im blind

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What does the fox say? Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding! Ringdingdingdingdingdingerding!

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david weres the slug gone

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What do you call 20 Investment Bankers buried to their necks in sand? A team building exercise at the beach sponsored by an Investment Bank.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Flesh is green When the dead start to rise you're on my team

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What did the doctor say to the man with cancer? You have cancer.

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shut up elliot

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What does little Tommy and a tomato have in common? They are both vegetables. Oh wait, a tomato is a fruit.

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Yeah I was beginning to enjoy that as well, but I used "timed hypnosis" I have not seen it been coined elsewhere yet, not that I learn hypnosis anymore, I kinda teach it covertly to whoever I believe can use it responsively. "Timed hypnosis" is not really based upon a set amount of time after all time is relative, and our subconcious does know that and the subconcius understands that we did not invent time just because we made some fucking dials spin around" Now, timed hypnosis is based on a purpose, for example: "I will go into a trance until I am done teaching my new buddy how covert hypnosis works and teach her to use it subconciously" But now I made you aware of that, so you can use it consciously as well, the real magic here is that the subconcious is so much more efficient and powerful than the conscious mind that it would not even be neccesary to have a concious mind, except for one thing.

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How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

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The awkward moment when you have cancer.

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Which does does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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knock knock, Whos there ? ( runs away ) trololololololololol

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating in mid air? Drop It Niggher!

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What does a Barbie Doll and Britney Spears have in common? They're both 100 percent plastic.

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Why did the...uhh.... Lamp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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