Why was the fat kid the last one to lunch? He'd had lead bricks stapled to his ankles by the skinny kids.

Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

A giant storm loomed over a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who has been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

What's worse than rain on your wedding day? You scheduling your wedding to be held on an aircraft carrier on december 7th 1941.

Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

What's the difference between your wife and the kitchen? One is a living organism

What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

Cool Brian

Your mom is so old she is significantly more identifiable in a crowd of middle-aged men and women.

Roses are red Violets are blue These two lines are overused I wonder to what poem they originally come from

What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

Q - How do you call black people driving in a black car on the black road, then falling off the black cliff into the black water? A - An unfortunate accident.

denisssssssssssssss

What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

John: Spell IT Mike: Q-U-A-D-R-A-M-E-C-H-A-N-I-C-S

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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