knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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A hasidic Rabbi and a member of Hezbollah enter a bar in a Jewish settlement. (No, of course they didn't.)

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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Why did YUR MOM cross the road? To go slap her annoying-ass twelve year old for using "your mom" as an insult.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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Two friends that are 11 years old are fighting with each other, and one of them says, " Shut the front door." The other friend replies, "We don't even have a front door, because we're both homeless, and we're never going to be adopted because we're on an island, that's how we became friends in the first place."

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Several of our "name brothers" have been attacked threatened and questioned almost every night since when we last talked on the phone, it turns out that these people are not after me. But after you, they have no idea that I retired years ago, and while their information is limited, you got yourself someone that is selling information on the deep web intentionally, as far as we know he might be selling you out piece by piece, and as of this point, you might be in dire danger.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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Why didn't Suzie Fall off the Swings? She Has no legs and couldn't get on

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What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

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Why did the plane crash? Because its pilot was a loaf of bread

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Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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