Seven people walk into the same bar, like a solid pole. Ouch!

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Alternate ending for children: Despite the massive trauma that the spider suffered from his fall and the sheer volume of rain in the confined space of a pipe, it made a miraculous recover due to the sun coming out. It was however, forever doomed to repeat this cycle of undeath for ever more. [L]

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Why are fire trucks red Well fire trucks have 4 wheels, and they have 8 people in them, 4+8, is 12, there are 12 inches in a foot, a foot is a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, Queen Elizabeth was a boat, boats sail the seven seas, fish are in the seven seas, fish have fins, the Finns defeated the Russians, Russians are red, And that is why fire trucks are red.

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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Why was the black man sad? Because his wife and children had been killed in a freak car accident while he had been driving.

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Two condoms walk into a gay bar. The people in the bar are perplexed that two inanimate objects are capable of locomotion.

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penispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenispenis

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DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he looked behind him and saw a pedophile penis in his ass.

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you were so loud you woke helen keller up!!!!!!!

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yo mama is fat shes fat

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Robin, Get in the Car

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Dude, you're playing call of duty by yourself and in last place...HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!!??

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What did the Pornstar say to his wife? He concluded that a divorce was the way forward for both of them as, seeming as he was a pornstar, he was almost certainly having extra-maritial sexual intercourse, unhealthy for any working relationship.

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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What happens when you have nothing to do and you can't think of a joke? You just type whatever you want and hope to god someone likes it.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Beluga Whale walk into a bar. The Priest says: "Well because today is a holy holiday, I'll take a glass of white wine to celebrate." The Rabbi says: "Well, because today I have to kindle thy sacred light, I'll have a glass of merlot." The Beluga Whale then says: "Ooooooooorrrrooooooommmmmmmm....."

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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Why are black people so good at basketball? They practice.

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Knock knock Who's there? Your neighbor. I just ran over your cat.

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why was the woman out of the kitchen, because she had to have sex with her husband in a bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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