What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What has two arms and two legs? A human being.

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Yeah, and speaking about spiderman, I got some weird senses, when I get stressed things begin seeming slower, and gets a weird blur effect, not sure what it is, but if you know what "bullet hell video games are" Technically games where you play as a tiny spaceship and lots of bullets fly around, I was always awesome at those games as a kid, because the more stress I felt while playing, the slower my perception of time felt.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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Hey i heard you where cool wait that was opposite day ;)

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Roses are red my shirt is blue don't take my money, their not for u -_-

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yo mamma's so fat, when she jumped into the ocean, everyone yelled "tsunami!".

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

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Why was timmy having trouble with his homework? Because lobotomies were a forced practice in the 1950's.

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what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

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It's valentines today! My girlfriend died.

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Whats bad about a black cop coming to your house? I was having a KKK meeting in the basement.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

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knock knock. who is there ? nobody.you have no friends.

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So a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" It proceeds to then crap on the floor and walk out,because its a horse.

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wh@t d0 y0u c@II @ d0g5sh£t w1th n0 sm£II? 0ID d0gsh£T

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What is 8===D- ? A jew with a lip piercing.

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LOLLLLLL! Lakers? making me laugh so hard! LMAO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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