How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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OHIO DRIVERS.......THAT IS ALL......

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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What's bue and sticky? -A blue stick.

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why did the hedge hog cross the road? To get to his 'flat' mate!!

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What did the two best friends do before the asteroid hit the Earth? They hugged each other goodbye.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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hi patrick

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

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A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

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Why did the Dentist recommend Oral B? He had been paid by the company and thus legally bound to do so.

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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Why did the blonde get a good occupation? Because she had a great education in a private school.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun that's just been shot.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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Your mother is so fat.... I am happy to see her join our exercise group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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