you: guess what somebody: what? you: you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A Elephant was going to fight against the biggest and toughest and meanest giant African desert mouse! The battle the animal kingdom had waited for centuries! *DING!* Elephant: Get up Mickey! Mouse: Squish! Disney: How big do you really think a African "giant" desert mouse is?

thumb_up thumb_down +24

i just got all five seasons of big bang theory in the mail for xmas... i'm divorcing my wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what do you say to a girl dog crying??? shut up bitch...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If I threw a regular snowball at a random snowman, would my action directly result in the increase of the snowman's size or would it rather have caused to snowball to become substantially larger in succession? Only a few people could answer that question. Not all of us are actually philosophy aficionados after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: what's the difference between a human and a gorilla? A: they can both talk, apart from the gorilla

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black and looks like Burnt Popcorn? A black man

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A very unattractive girl bent over in front of me. I proceeded to be sick, and then I choked on my sick. I died. My family mourn my death every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why was the blonde fired from her job as a nurse? Because she ate all the babies in the nursery (She didn't even leave one for the director of the hospital to eat!)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Romans rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the wife scream when she saw her husband? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A woodchuck could chuck wood but a woodchuck couldn't chuck Norris because Norris isn't a type of wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is funnier than 24? 25! hahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a dad farts in the woods nothing else happens

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops