rosie o'donald goes on a diet

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24

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What's worse than Bieber fever? Yellow fever.

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Adam Sandler is still funny ! *cough*

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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Knock knock whos there? Its me, your doorbell is obviously broken Okay, hold on a sec. Please hurry up, its really cold I cant seem to find my key Its probably on the coffeetable, where you always keep it. No, its not there Check the floor underneith Oh, right, there it is.

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OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple. finding half of regis philbin in your apple...

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why couldn't randy turn on his computer? randy is blind and had mistaken his refrigerator for his computer.

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Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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If she is old enough to bleed, she probably uses tampons.

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Robert. Robert who? Robert Anderson.

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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Why did the chicken itch it's bum? Cause it's bum was itchy

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Hillary Clinton

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? I have to take off my boots to jump on the trampoline.

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What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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What's black, white, and red all over? That could describe any number of objects.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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