A bishop died and went to heaven. At the Pearly gates he sees Saint Peter , so he says to Peter "All my life I've been a committed Christian, but I just before I died I was tempted by a woman of ill repute". Saint Peter says "This is just an illusion, your dying brain is merely conjuring up images based on your presuppositions of an 'afterlife'. You have about three seconds left"

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Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Apple. Apple who? Apple juice.

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Yo mama is so stupid that she is currently taking courses in a community college to get her degree in business so she can have a well-paying job.

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Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

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How do you kill a woman? Let her drive

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knock knock who's there doctor doctor who No

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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you wanna hear a funny joke? so do I

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How do you register on webkinz? You put a rope around a durable shower neck, & then hang yourself with it.

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What's black and white and read all over? A lot of things.

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brainfart

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. They all fall on a small boy below, putting him into a 20-year coma.

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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Why did the monKey fall out of the tree? He died Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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What did the zebra say to the giraffe? Nothing, they can't talk dipshit.

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your momma is so dumb.. ... because she was a slacker in high school but then turned her life around and is now a respected member of society

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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What do you call a bird with no wings? Dead

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How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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