What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

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What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

Why did Billy go into the white van? Because his parents came to pick him up from school.

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

Why did the robot cross the road? Because it was a banana.

Is this the krusty krab? NO! THIS IS red lobster, how many i help you?

What's Big, Brown and really Runny ??? It doesn't matter anymore, i'll just leave the Toilet !!

Q: What game will Helen Keller always win? A: Marco Polo. She is a fast swimmer.

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

How many cows does it take to put in a lightbulb? Well, you see, it depends how many cows it takes to put in a lightbulb.

how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

Why did the chicken refuse to cross the road? Yo dawg, dat chicken saw dat hoe Sally crossin da road, dat biatch got hit wit a fridge. Dat chicken was like "hell naw, yall must be trippin, i aint finna die over dat shiet homie, peace!"

What's funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff? Catching it with a pitch-fork

What's a Guy Gotta Do? -Usher

what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

if quiz is quizzal whats test?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

Why did the bus crash? What, you were expecting an answer? I was asking you

How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

I wonder if barrack Obama will rename the whitehouse...to the blue house because it is his favorite color

What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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