why was the man gay? Because its not a choice. its a lifestyle.

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A turtle that couldn't swim walked to Japan.

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A girl asked for lip balm. She put some on and her lips exploded.

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. Because, often, friends go out together in social situations.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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How do you get a little kid out of a tree Throw a jar of foreskin at him

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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What is translucent and smells like a carrot ? A translucent carrot.

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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How are JFK and Jimmy Neutron similar? They both had brain blasts.

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Why didn't the giraffe go to the zoo party? He didn't receive an invitation.

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A horse walks into a bar, and a man says "Hey, why the long face?" The horse calmly turns to him and replies, "Because I'm a horse you drunk moron."

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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What did the suicide bomber say on new years day? Happy new year.

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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