patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A woman walks into a cave, and the entrance collapses. She spends two days in the cave. She comes close to death, due to lack of nutrition, but is thankfully rescued by a dog walker. She spends several days in hospital recovering. The experience really opens her eyes to life, and she learns not to take her loved ones for granted, and to really make the most of her life. Finally she is allowed to go home. The next day, she is hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call the twin towers? An airport

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

a black kid goes and gets some cereal and spills some flower on him self and he goes to his grandma and says look grandma i`m white and then she slaps him he goes to his grandpa and says look grandpa i`m white and then he slaps him and then he goes to his mom and then says look mom i`m white and then she slaps him then he goes to his dad and then says dad i`ve been white for 20 minutes and i all ready hate yall nigas

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hey, so I know this guy who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy,who knows this guy's cousin who's name is Mark.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Look how far I can kick this bucket

thumb_up thumb_down +10

boy: you want to hear something funny? girl: what? boy: women's rights girl: you want to hear something trivial? boy: what? girl: your penis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he had uncontrollable muscle spasms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, bikers are blur.....I love you ( drunk texting )

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did rosa parks get for christmas? -Racism

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the duck say to the moose? Quack

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What starts with P and ends in ORN? Porn.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

justin bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it lost Consciousness.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the lonely man stop talking? He was alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Danny work at the factory? Because Danny is in an substantial economic crisis, and doesn't have enough money to afford food for his 6 kids and wife. They will all most likely die soon, as his factory job will not provide enough money.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is the difference between a deer and a child in africa? Why does it matter? They're both being hunted.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

thumb_up thumb_down +8

YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX the preacher then bitchslaps the black man

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops