Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is invisible and smells like carrots? The smell of Carrots. Pretty sure you can't see smells.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call an ocelot with ebola? an ocelot that might die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Theres a man with 2 eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q-- Why did the boy stop playing football? A -- He had to go for his tea

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you say when you kill a pregnant lady? Double kill

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why cant helen keller drive Because shes a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I'm innocent its all Taggart he's the one instigating.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didnt the car turn on? Cause the keys werent in the ignition

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mom is so fat...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a man named Jimmy? Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops