Roses are red Violets are red The trees are red Oh crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Woman Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Cleveland winning something

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why are asians eyes so slanted? because THEY WERE BORN THAT WAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the same between a mole and an eagle? They both live underground, except for the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you kill a blonde? By inactivating major functions in the body, for example cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, Violets are BLACK!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How old is your mom? Old.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you blindfold and Asian? By using a sturdy bandanna, cloth, any other object to avert ones view.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why can't T-rex give hih fives, Because they're dead...

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops