What did the man say when he was asked if he recently saw a mime painting a lawn chair in the middle of December? "No." , and walked away, slightly confused by the matter.

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muffled-thud muffled thud who's there? Jeremy Beadle.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Q: What's bigger than a volcano? A: Earth

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An Atheist and a Christian are walking along a sidewalk going in opposite directions when suddenly the Atheist sneezes. The Christian says "God Bless You!" Even though the Atheist doesn't believe in God he understand that the gesture was a kind one and so he nods and politely says "Thank you!" before going on about his day.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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TIMMAH!

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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Q. why was Martin Luther King assassinated? A. he wasn't his son was

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

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What's Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin' with his family

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i'm funny

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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A man comes home from work and finds his wife in bed with his next-door neighbor. Furious, he shouts 'What's the meaning of this?!' And his wife answers 'A pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing close at hand or being indicated or experienced'.

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How do u get a clown off of a swing? You hit him with an axe.

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What is the difference between a girl and a boy? Well, a girl has two x-chromosones but a boy has and X and a Y chromosone.

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Sac

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One man's trash is another dyslexic man's shart.

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops