Did you hear about the guy who got all of his left side cut off?! He died of blood loss and permanent damage to his vital organs.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is Patrick

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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im gonna sue mcdonalds i asked for a hamburger and it was a beef burger -_-

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia Poem make YOU!

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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Whats black and white, and red all over? A: Your grandma, naturally black haired, beaten to a pulp and left pale white with blood covering the majority of her body.

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This little pig went to market, This little pig stayed at home, This little pig had pork chops, And this little pig was GONE...

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When life throws you lemons, duck cuz they freakin' hurt

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What's dumber than a black guy that can't read? Two black guys that can't run with TVs.

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what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

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A dog just died in my neighborhood last week. It made me sad so I vandelized a church and got put into jail. That made me even MORE sad so I vandelized the jail. Morel of the story: This wasn't grammaticly a story. A story is not 3 sentences. --

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what's brown and sticky? a turd.

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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What did the Catholic Priest say to the young boy? God bless you.

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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How many dead babies can you fit in a sink? I don't know i forgot to turn the garbage disposal off

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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Justin Bieber is having sex with a girl. He then awakes from this horrible nightmare.

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Im good at other things... ...like giving handshakes

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What is the best way break up with your significant other without hurting their feelings? It is better to get it over with quickly and decisively. Gunshot to the head should do the trick.

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What's the difference between slavery and the Holocaust? Slavery happened.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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