why was little bobby sad? he accidentally super-glued Jupiter to his forehead.

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Why did John stay home from school? He died.

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What do you call a pair of owls? Two owls.

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Sally was ugly like a shaven babboon So she created her own little cacoon And within a week she finally emerged And she smelled like shit what a psycho

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jay hefti is so cool and alex askew is hot

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What's the most racist thing ever... Manhattan

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Whats your name? Bill. I have a son named Kevin.

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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A man walks into a bar.....OW!

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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Q: What's the difference between sheetrock and drywall? A: nothing. It's just two names for the same thing.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? I don't know... Does the deaf woman locked in my basement?

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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What's worse than Fantasy Basketball? Playing Fantasy WNBA.

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why did little suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock: Who's there? Not little suzy Why did the car crash? Little suzy was driving Why didn't little suzy ride her bike home? She died of her injuries from the car crash

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Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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brainfart

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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melon

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What's the square root of 6739472? Who gives a f***?

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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