Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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how may i help you

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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What did the Dragonfly say to the Mosquito? Nothing. He ate it.

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What did the catholic priest say to the naked boy where are your clothes?

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jam is slightly more viscous and may contain bits of fruit.

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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Knock. Knock Who's there? Jim. Jim who? Jim your best friend.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Well, there is no way to accurately estimate this number being that 1.woodchucks in fact do not chuck wood and 2. there is no time frame given for said action to take place

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Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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