Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

How do you get 10 babies out of a blender? Potato Chips! Stupid!!!!

Why wasn't the drunk driver arrested when he killed a man? Because he died as well.

Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

whats a dick a dick

How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

Whats worse than finding a real joke on anti-jokes? -Nothing

What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

A cow walks into the butcher shop, he looks around then mourns the loss of his brothers

Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

Why was Jimmy upset? There is a frog taped to his face.

Your so fat that you have a 75% chance increase of dying from congenital heart failure.

Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

One man's trash is another man's treasure is a horrible way to tell a kid that he's adopted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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