Who is blue and smells like green paint? Matt Daly

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mark is mark

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Why do Southern guys go to family reunions? To connect with their loved ones, meet any new additions and share old family stories.

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What do you get when you cross an orangatang with a grizzly bear? Nothing, they just walk past each other unless the bear eats the shit out of the monkey then feeds it to her cubs

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Why did Miley Cyrus have to buy a new tour bus? The old one stopped twerking.

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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How many women's right's leaders does it take to change a light bulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she got shot in the heart with a bolt action sniper rifle and died.

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why did the cow eat the seahorse/ because my shift keys are broken1

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Why was the black man at the back of the bus... Cause all the other seats were taken

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

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What do you say when the cheese isn't yours? The cheese does not belong to me.

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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What has 7 mouths 3 eyes and 5 noses Something very ugly

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What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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