What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

roses are red violets are blue heres the oven now where the **** is the jew

I have aids

whats red and and smells like blue paint red paint

What is brown and sticky? A stick

So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

Where do you go when you die? Nowhere

How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

What's worse than dying? Dying poor.

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog. Instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

Knock knock Whoes there? ...

why did the chicken cross the road? I Lied, it was a cow not a chicken and it was a highway full of speeding cars slamming into the cow body until it would stop moooooooooooooooooving...

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a known serial killer.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says, "What's up?" The man replies, "The opposite of down."

Two hunters walk in to the forest. They have a great time ending the lives of defenceless creatures. They go to their respective homes, eat a light dinner, and fall asleep in their beds.

What time does lunch usually begin on the other side of the world. Noon.

What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

Why did the black man laugh at my joke? k.

A whale's vagina

TURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTURNIPSTU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How does Helen Keller do her taxes? Unfortunately, she doesn't. Her friends have strongly encouraged her to proactively contact the IRS to see if she can undergo a repayment plan of some sort and obtain governmental assistance for her future filings.

why did the zack fall off his bike because his mum thew a frege at him

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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