A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

A: Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights B: Wanna hear another joke? Your sexist beliefs are why your single...

What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

LOL May Wong

Wat is brown and sticky? A stick

What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

What's green has eight legs, and would kill you of it fell on you from the top of a tree? A Billiard table

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the same wolf that had devoured the chickens' chicks singlehandedly was chasing it.

How do you keep children off your front lawn? Molest them.

My new Muslim friend is the BOMB

Why was the white man poor? Because he could not hold a stable job for his wife and kids.

You're Adopted.

No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

Whats the difference between babies and basketballs? You cant unload a truck of basketballs with a pitchfork.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your neighbour. My neighbour who? Timothy, welcome to the neighbourhood!

Two men walk into a bar. The bar was being robbed. They were both shot in the confusion.

why did tom drop his ice cream he didn't because he had no icecream

Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was Friday night (or Halloween or St. Patty's Day) and the chicken was at a party. He got totally drunk, and then got the bright idea that it would be okay to drive home. On a rural two-lane highway, his vehicle careened into the oncoming traffic lane, and then the ditch, thus crossing the road. Fortunately, he walked away with only a few scratches. However, he was cited for wreckless driving, and got a DUI as well.

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Is it hot in here?" The other muffin says "Yes. It feels like 425 degrees."

water, hydrated silica, glycerin, sorbitol, PVM/MA copolymer, sodium lauryl sulfate, flavor, cellulose gum, sodium hydroxide, propylene glycol, carrageenan, sodium saccharin, titanium dioxide all adds up to colgate. SO AS A MATTER OF FACT, CHEESE PLUS PIE IS CHICKEN. CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT I LIKE SAYING CHEESE, JACK AND JILL WENT UP THE HILL BECAUSE THEY WERE BAGELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A buissnes man walks into a meeting and says hello i'm a buissnesman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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