How did the family of Cubans get to Florida? They flew first class from their home in upstate New York.

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Why was baby Johnny crying because a monkey came and ripped of his dick

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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What did the man with Tourette's say to the other man? Surely something he did not mean to say.

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What do you do when you see a mentally challenged kid in a wheelchair? Walk up and offer to push him, as you should since he probably hasn't had a lot of friends in his lifetime.

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YEAH THEY DO.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

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why do girraffe's have long necks? because my foot is so far up all their asses that it hits their head, pushing it away from the body.

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whats worse than being ugly? being aivy.

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what did the jewish kid get for his birthday......Striped pajamas

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Knock Knock Whose there? Boo I don't know anyone by the name of Boo. Go away

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Why was Soren gay? Because he likes to eat men's Penises!

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Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

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Donald Trump

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing

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69

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A visibly exhausted and distressed man walks into a bar and orders a strong drink. "Long day?" the bartender asks. Since the man understands the meanings of most common phrases he responds in the correct and expected manner.

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Two olives are sitting on a counter, one falls off and the other one asks "Are you okay?" and he replies, "It is only a slight wound I think I will be just fine"

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" Hey you have something on your face. " ( man speaking punches the guy he was talking to ) " It was pain."

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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