What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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Why couldn't Bethany drive? She was 14.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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"Did you eat your veggies?" asked the shark, sarcastically.

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2 tomatoes walk across a road tomato 1 gets hit by a car tomato 2 gets confused, because tomatoes don't have legs and therefore cannot "walk across a road" And furthermore, a tomato does not have a brain, and thus cannot get confused.

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hi

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: I have no Idea what you would call cheese which isn't yours. However, it seems quite trivial to take time to discuss a nonsensical topic such as cheese which isn't yours.

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Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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Chrissy is funny.

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What do you tell a Woman with black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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What did little jimmy get for Christmas? A box containing the malevolent soul of a 10,000 year-old demon determined to torment his cat.

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A little boy and a pedafile are walking through the forest at night. The little boy says "I'm scared." The pedafile says "You're scared? I have to walk home alone."

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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What's long, hard, and wet? A difficult college exam that fell in a puddle of water

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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hipsters

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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What did the officer say to the black man? You're under arrest.

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Im going to france... Why To get french fries! Have fun Im back with a $10000bill to pay Wheres the fries Shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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