give me thumbs up or i'll rape u to death

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Why didn't the firefighter put out the fire? Because he wasn't a very good firefighter.

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You know what sucks? Yes.

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Hey, you pee here? Yes, it's called a urinal

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A woman walks into a bar. She is pregnant and gives her baby fetal alcohol syndrome.

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What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, And I'm color blind, So I don't give a shit

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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What did the rapist say to the woman? "If you tell anyone I'll kill you!"

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Why did the mother cross the road? To find her dead baby that was hit the night before.

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas Nothing he didnt live that long

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1. Whats the difference between an orange? 2. Finish your sentence asshole.

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why was the spoiled girl running from her parents? because they weren't her parents, they were kidnappers and were going to sell her into underground sex trafficking markets where she would probably spend the rest of her life being a slave.

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a girl and a guy rented a hotel room for a night. theyre siblings and stayed up all night watching very classy movies about farm animals and each of them ordered a chocolate cake to eat while watching their fantastic informational film.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! Who is it? Wood pecker. Wood pecker who? KNOCK! KNOCK!

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so i walk into a bar the bartender says what do you want i say a beer please he then goes one dear coming up soi thought tomy self should i tell him what i really said so i let him get the dear but for some reason he came out with tears i asked whats a matter he said you let me go to kill a dear

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You must be Jamaican cause you have long dreadlocks and you are listening to Bob Marley

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What do you call a fat black guy in KFC? A guy who likes KFC.

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Wheelchair high jump

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was free-range.

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Whyd the girl fall of her bike? She rode over a curb

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What did Snichols do when he murdered his ex-partner who became a lesbian? The ass dance.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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