What has 2 brown legs and 2 gray legs? An elephant with diarrhea.

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If life gives you lemons, steal the declaration of independance and use the lemons and a hair dryer to reveal the numbers on the back. Then enbark on an epic journey that ends with the discovery of the templars treasure. Lastly, use the money you earned to buy some lemons and make some lemonade.

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Why does Reid always have a blank stare on his face? Because he is constantly searching for the answer as to why his sister was raped, stabbed, and burned alive all right in front of his face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He loved working with tourists.

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Q: What is George Harrison's favorite hairstyle? A: How can we know? He's dead!

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Steve: Hey ask me if Im a Pelican. Bob: Are you a pelican? Steve: YES.

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Why we in a Falln tank!!!? Be cause the plane exploded!!!!!!!

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Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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Why did the Asian Cross the road? Because the crossing signal went green!

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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