Roses are red violets are blue hes for me not for you if by chance you take my place ill take my fist and smash your face

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chuck norris's daughter lost her virginity but he got it back

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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What's the difference between a hippopotamus? An orangutan.

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Why are Ethiopians so fast? Because antelope are also very fast.

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what did the mexicans name their daughter? nothing. they were deported before they had a chance

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What happened when the chicken crossed the road? The Farmer immediately noticed the oncoming car and flagged it down so the driver would stop and he could grab his chicken and carry it safely back to the coop

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Your mama's so fat that she killed herself because she was so depressed about her weight.

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How do you make a mime talk? Put a gun to his head.

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of problems with money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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How do you get 100 illegal immigrants into a furnace? Tell 'em it's England.

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Whats the best part about 23 year olds? Theres 20 of them

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Why was the guy sad? His son killed himself after being constantly bullied for 6 years.

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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I'm a raging homosexual.

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text this number 2066191208 saying i wanna rape you

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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Graphed: hey kids it's time to grape ya in the mouth Girl: noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Random guy who sponsors the comercial: why is she screaming isn't thus about our new grape drink? Grapist: well… yes but look at the wY she's dresses she totally wants it.

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whats worse than hitler? Anti-Jokes By darragh hamilton

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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