Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

Why w\s the English man, the French man, the German man, the Indian man, the Chinese man, the Irish man, the American man and the russian man all on a train together? They where going to the olympics.

What's worse than finding a fly in your drink? Gonorrhea.

Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

two penguins are sitting in a bath tub. one penguin says, "hey, can you hand me the soap?" the other penguin says, "what do i look like, a typewriter?"

Q: what is funny today A: your parents died in a horrible car accident

Do you know how I know you're gay? 'Cuz your penis tastes like shit.

How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

Roses are gray Violets are gray I am color blind

What happened to the guy who got bullied? He commited suicide.

fruit salad?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf a bread

What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

Anthony Dephillips is handsome

What did the girl say when she arrived at the party? "I like what you did with the furniture!"

What is the cow doing? Because 7,8,9

Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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