theres a giant burning orb in the sky and it can burn your flesh, it can give you diseases, it can kill you, looking directly at it causes physical pain, and we all think this is okay. we like this orb. we like to go outside and lie around on our backs when this orb is in the sky. children draw cute pictures of this levitating death orb with a smiley face on it. what is wrong with us

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse, thus lacking cognitive capacity to speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and promptly defecates on the floor then gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few chairs and tables.

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Knock knock (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) (Knock knock...) Fuck me, that's the most echo-y door I've ever knocked on.

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what's brown and sticky? A stick!

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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how did the tree fall on the woman? it didnt, trees dont grow in kitchens

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Whats the difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? One is a specific type of sports car, and the other is a sad destruction of many young lives

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go bike riding?

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Ya know what's sad? You can only submit one dislike on this website.

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Obama: And then I said there would be a change. (hahahahahaha)

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How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? No amount of them could ever figure it out. They all tremble with fear in the dark.

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Wade

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What can you sit on, drink from and sleep on? A chair, a cup and a bed.

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Could switching to Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? Yes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

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Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

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Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

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What does a gay horse eat? HEEEEEEYYYYYY!

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A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

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Steven hawking walks into a bar. a.w j.p

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops