What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Where did the moon get its degree? Unfortunately, they haven't installed any colleges for planetary satellites yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A grandmother in her late seventies is walking to the grocery store. Then out of nowhere,she stats getting pelted by bananas. One hits her hard on the head,and she dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A germaphobe is in a room full of sick people. He leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you a call a person who can't fly. A person.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar. He asked the bartender if he accepts $100 bills. The bartender says "no".

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? NOT SALLYYYY

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A man walks into a car. And drive's off.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red, violets are blue ive got a gun so get in the van!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

learn the ropes?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A hipster gets summoned for jury duty. The case is solved promptly and everyone goes home happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

if Ruddell was gay what would he be? A gay prick!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is 0+0? 0, I am not dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why do blonds write TGIF toes go in first

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Always put punctuation at the end of your sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +27

So a man is sitting at a bar with about 20 girls sitting all around him. Amazed at this man's ability to pick up girls, another man asked him how he did. In response, the man said, "What?". The man wasn't able to hear the other man, due to the fact that there were many girls talking.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its dopaminergic neurons fired synchronously across the synapses of its caudate nucleus, triggering motor contractions propelling the organism forward, while emitting 'cluck' distress signals, to a goal predetermined by its hippocampal road mappings.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

thumb_up thumb_down +25

The bear woke up after his long hibernation of the winter. "Boy, am I hungry!" The bear wandered around and ate some berries. "These blackberries are too bitter and unripe for my taste, I'll go eat something else." He stumbled upon a honeybee hive and took some honey out and ate it. He was swarmed and stung by many of those bees. "That wasn't my favorite batch of honey, I'm still pretty hungry, let me go find some other food. He came across a cabin in the woods. "There maybe some food in there." To some, this was known as the Northern Vermont Massacre. It was a tragic happening. The 7 membered family, the Hernandez family, all died that day. The bear chase all of the adult and children and the house and brutally ate them.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple Finding multiple worms in your apple

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops