What's black and flies? Whatever it is, it's not a car.

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Why did Sally get hit with a fridge? Because someone threw a fridge at Sally Why would someone throw a fridge at her? Because Sally has no arms

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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What do you call it when you lend money to a bison? Unitelligent, because bison do not have the ability to purchase things with money so it will most likely just eat the money.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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How long does it take a black woman to take a shit? Why in the world would you want to know something like that? But anyway, the answer is somewhere, on average, between 10 seconds and 15 minutes. It really varies and conditions like irritable bowel syndrome and constipation affect this range. Actually it takes about 9 months.

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Why did the guy crash his car? Because he didn't want to crash his truck.

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Q: what animal didnt get on Noah's ark in pairs? A: worms. they got on in apples.

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What do you call a bear eating another bear? A cannibal.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

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Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

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Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

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What happens when you yell at people who have high blood pressure? They might get heart attacks & die.

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What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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how do you make a plumber cry? you kill his family

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Anywhere from 2-8, depending on the size of the vehicle.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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