- Anti Joke

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them!!!

What do Molly and Sharon have in common? They both annoy me.

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

Why did the bus crash? The driver was a tomato.

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

So, a guy sees a guy, and asks that guy if he's seen a guy who knew this guy who saw this guy who killed this guy, who knew a guy who is Barack Obama's best friend. Oh wait, Barack Obama doesn't have any friends.

Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the road? To get to the other side.

A man walks into a bar Then another man shoots him in the head because he has anger issues.

This schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson. She scored poorly from her lack of practice and experience and was turned off from the sport.

Q: what do you call a bunch of dead accountants? A: the holacost.

what do you sit on, poop on, and sleep on? a bed, a toilet, and a chair

What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

She is so fast We call her Email Instead of Emily...

What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

Why did the police officer arrest Maxwell? Because he's black.

What do you call a black man climbing a mountain. A mountain climber.