Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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Q: What weighs 6 ounces, is extremely dangerous, and lives in a tree? A: A sparrow with a machine gun.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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What did the retard say to the other retard? *(incoherent gibberish)*

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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How do you make a plummer angry? Kill his family

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Q. Why did Mary fall down the steps? A. Because she had no legs.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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A priest walks into a bakers and asks for a loaf of bread , the baker asks "white or brown" the priest replies "it does not matter Sir I have my bike outside".

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Two cannibals were eating a clown. Good.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Roses are green I'm bipolar

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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Your social life.

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How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

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Women Driving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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