what did the little boy say to little girl? I shit bricks.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road. ... So he could be hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Where can you find a Muslim with a boxcutter? At a UPS.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What gets wetter as it dries? Sarah Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -21

i have yougurt with tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -21

An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

why did ya dad eat ya food?? because ya sister

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How did the black man get put in jail? He didn't, he never did anything illegal

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If there are 3 apples, and you take 2, how many do you have? BLAM! Texas castle law, motherfukker!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down -23

If there are 50 oranges and 50 waffles tied to a fence post. How many cow utters does it take to shit green? urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Orange" "Oh, hey."

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Wha'ts the funniest joke in the world? Written.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Melbourne Football Club.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What does the color 9 smell like? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -25

You`re honor, he fell off the staircase, I demand that staircase ends up in jail! Case closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I eat Mi Familia Mexica food, it burns when I go to the bathroom. Is that bad?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's worse than a spider bite? Two spider bites. What's worse than two spider bites? The fact that 1/3 of people get cancer. What's worse than that? Three spider bites.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose... But that's disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What do you call a fat guy falling down stairs Japan suffering.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon ones a live the other isnt

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the blonde say to the brunette? I'm sorry your brother died

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops