Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Electronic Arts is a respectable company.

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Q: How do you kill an Asian? A: Deprive of calculator or shoot it.

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? Someone threw a piano at her.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they are all dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road??? I don't know, that's why I asked you -_-

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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How did the Jew his German neighbor? Every morning the Jew says hello and the German replys hello

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What's brown and sticky? Fecal matter.

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Q: Why are lizards broke? A: Because they run around the desert with no money.

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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I met an Asian man in Beijing, and he had very small feet. You know why? He was a midget.

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What do you call a man or woman who has sex, records it on video, and sells the recordings for money? A porn star.

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? "Stop picking on me"

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Why did the tissue dance? Because it had a boggie

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Why did the boy cross the road He didnt he got hit by a car

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Busted? What the hell is going on?

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What's the best Medieval job? A Jester because you get to play with balls all day.

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A man is so drunk that the alcohol has a biphasic effect on the body, meaning that its effects change over time. Initially, alcohol typically produces feelings of relaxation and cheerfulness. Increased consumption, however, can lead to dehydration, coordination problems, blurred vision, and a great number of health, medical, and social issues and other drinking problems caused by alcoholism. As articulated above, excessive alcohol consumption can lead to drunkenness. One of the short term effects of intoxication is the lowering of an individual's inhibitions. As a consequence, when people are intoxicated they frequently do things they normally would not do while sober, often ignoring legal, ethical, social, and moral or religious norms. While blurred vision, slurred speech, dehydration, and coordination can be labeled as "alcohol short term effects," other health problems such as alcohol related heart disease, liver disease, and cancer, on the other hand, can be labeled as long term effects of alcohol abuse and alcoholism. This, however brief, is an overview of the effects of alcohol. What remains to be discussed, however, is what Paul Harvey calls "the rest of the story." Essentially, "the rest of the story" is a more detailed analysis of how excessive alcohol affects an individual's life and the lives of those around him or her when the person becomes an alcoholic and suffers from alcoholism. Perhaps the most logical way to discuss this complex topic is to focus first on the classic alcoholic behaviors and effects of alcohol in the four states of alcoholism; then examine some of the "social effects" of alcohol and alcoholism and finally, discuss the medical conditions, health issues, and drinking problems that are caused directly or indirectly by alcoholism.

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If Jimmy has 50 pieces of candy and eats 40 of them, what does he have now? Jimmy has diabetes.

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What's black and white and red all over? A mime that got hit by a train

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Why did the boy like watching NASCAR? He didnt because he was a fish and a secret Soviet spy

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Let's not pick mushrooms in heaven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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