where are you?

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Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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What do you do when you fall of the horse? Consider calling the paramedics because it's possible that when you hit the ground your brain sustained damage and you should be rushed to a hospital immediately.

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Q: Why did Sally not like her trip to Hawaii? A: A volcano erupted and killed her whole family.

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What do you call a pair of banana peels? Trash.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash and the other one is a watermelon.

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Niki Minaj's ass

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The Holocost

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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Why did the chicken sneeze? Because someone put pepper on its nose.

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A man walks into a bar. He backs up, unwraps it, and enjoys its chocolatey deliciousness.

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Knock knock Who's there? No one Cool

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Realizing on your deathbed that you regret the life you've lived and hate the person you've become.

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Fun fact: Steel wool comes from the fleeces of iron sheep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Why can't the man have babies? His nuts was cut off and he eventually bleed to death.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Whats the difference between a pontiac and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a pontiac in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops